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Drinking
Just stop it
please stop it
You're killing me here
Your face on my eyelids
Your voice in my ears
And you're not even with me
You don't care anymore
So I stare at the ceiling
As I lie on the floor
And the room is still spinning
(as rooms often do)
when you party with your problems,
a B. A. C. of point-six-two
Which they say is near death
but what would they know
I'll die of brokenheartedness
before alcohol overflow.
So if I can't be myself
then you cannot be you
You must be someone else
and not the girl that I once knew
The one who would ask me
"Do you love me just this much?"
her hands stretched out wide
(hands soft to my touch)
And I'd grin and I'd say,
"No, not that much-- this much more!"
And stretch my own arms out wide
and hug you til we were sore
And I'm falling asleep
my head gently nodding
on the curve of your neck
your smell in my nose
memories safe in my mind
where no one else can go.
And when we both had to leave
I wish you were along
Your love, in dark winters,
my emotional long-johns.
But I'm here on my own now
my soul naked at night
cringing under the covers
and shivering with fright
The fear of the unloved
of being alone
The feeling I'm shaking
my fists at a stone
That can't even hear me,
and can't feel I'm there.
It'll be a cold winter
with stone underwear.
So I hope that she's happy
with the life that she's picked
(she'll be better off without me--
I'm just a drip)
'Cos I don't 'preciate what I have'til it's gone
(Okay, I'll admit I stole that from a song)
But it don't make it trite
And I think it's the truth
(though my mind may be muddled
by gin and vermouth)
And I'm sure I still love you
despite all my faults
And I know I deserve you
and those are my thoughts.
You're not perfect yourself
(and please, don't think me odd)
If I say that a diamond
is improved by its flaws.
I love the way you take it personally
When we fight about logic, and books, and philosophy.
I love when you're angry, that twinge in your voice
(the sarcasm just dripping, I love that the most)
And when we go shopping, and fight for nautical miles
about which way to go to navigate the food aisles
And that thing over salad? I should've just shrugged
And kissed you right there, and said it didn't matter, love
Because I wouldn't want to give you up for a hundred million dollars
Or trade you for a supermodel, a Cheryl Tiegs or Cindy Crawford
Because what I loved about you wasn't hair, or eyes, or skin--
But the sweet and tender loving heart that's hidden within.

